Chapter Four
More Writing Samples
Excerpt from critique of non-fiction book:
My major overall thought is that I would like to have more of YOU in this book. (Usually I complain to authors in reverse, urging less opinion from the biographer, and more facts about the subject – "This is a book about HIM, not you! But in your case, I think you present the facts and the events very thoroughly. The problem is, there are many, many facts and events in this book.
We need more interpretation of the facts.
Excerpt from critique of historical novel:
……I track edited the first 10 pages just to show you how you can tighten by continually asking yourself: Is this phrase/sentence/thought essential? Nothing makes the film creep over the reader’s eyes more than repetition in a book. You also do not want to over-describe. Let the reader work a little. It gets his adrenalin going if he has to think, to figure out, to imagine, to wonder…. Even if it is just to wonder for a paragraph or two before what he’s wondering is explained.
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Excerpt from critique of fiction manuscript:
Some of your similes and metaphors were so beautiful they took my breath away, others were funny enough to make me giggle. It just seems to keep
popping out of you, this imagery - woven out of the fruits and flowers and
wildlife of Virginia. It is a real talent, one that can't be learned, and
one that should serve you well.
Okay, now the bad news: You need to plot this book.
Excerpt from critique of adventure/thriller:
The beauty of fiction is you don’t have to – don’t want to - cover every aspect of life. You (the author) can go right to where things get interesting. You can start a new chapter wherever you want without needing to sum up for us what happened between the end of the last chapter and now. You don’t have to send people back to get someone. You can just cut to where that someone appears. You don’t have to account for every meal your characters eat every day. And, in the interest of drama, it’s best to avoid broad generalities (“The next day went on much as the last” p183) at all cost. They tell us little and just slow down the action.
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